Friday Fun - The Immutable Laws of Graphic Design

Posted by Tony
July 20, 2007

Oldies, but still true!

  1. The less time you have the more useless your computer will become
  2. If you have two versions of a photo, the wrong one will make its way to the printer.
  3. If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
  4. Speed, Quality and Affordability. Pick two.
  5. If the run is wrong, it’s never the press operator’s fault.
  6. Spell checkers don’t.
  7. Grammar checkers don’t, either.
  8. Proof raeders are useless.
  9. Global search-and-replaces aren’t.
  10. The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
  11. Optical Character Recognition(OCR)is good comedy.
  12. If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen or any combination of worst components of each.
  13. If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
  14. If you ask for more copy it will be sent as a Jpeg. If you ask for images they will send PowerPoint presentations or a Microsoft Word document.
  15. Blue line proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
  16. The best designs never survive contact with the CEO or client’s lawyer.
  17. You will misspell the name of the client’s spouse.
  18. Your best idea is already copyrighted.
  19. The best way to find errors in your code is to show a client “a new feature”
  20. There is no stock photo ever made that matches the image you have in your head
  21. Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
  22. Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a computer is a graphic designer.
  23. No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
  24. The number of colors in a client’s design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two
  25. The client’s disk won’t run on your equipment & when it does will contain unusable copyrighted images
  26. If you purchase new equipment to read your client’s disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
  27. Your client will often not like your design but not quite know why.
  28. Computer crashes always happen exactly 30 seconds before saving.
  29. A client who knows exactly what he wants is worse than one that has no idea.
  30. Clients who do not provide content upfront will complain about the use of Latin/Greeking Copy
  31. The customer is always right .
  32. There are at least 5 things you could think to add to this list if only you had more time.
  33. And finally, The logo needs to be BIGGER!

This is a little fun for the weekend. A glimpse into the cluttered mind of a graphic designer.

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